Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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