'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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