You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
