I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize