i don't like sucking hair
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
