I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
