he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
