he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You are a genius and a whore.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
