I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
