her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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