5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
