meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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