I just threw up on my dentist
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just found puke in my bra..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
