I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
