yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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