Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
