why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
