where am i from again
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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