Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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