I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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