summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
