I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
