So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone