hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
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Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.