Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.