Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
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there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.