I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high