Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants