I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
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She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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