After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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