Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's always time for handjobs
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
