so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
