Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
