like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
