Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
