She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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