The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
