I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
