So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
