I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
