Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
