Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
