you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
