Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
