so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
