I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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