So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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