ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
try to milk me bitch
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