When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
whose parrot is this?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
