I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
