We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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