rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
