I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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