I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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