Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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