I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
is wine microwaveable?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
