YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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