I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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