i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Randomize
