I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I will die if light touches me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
