just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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