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Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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