i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo