Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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