Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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