Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
