mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
zippers are such a cool invention
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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