I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
