so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
